She-wrestler!

Tonight I did something I've never done before: wrestling!

I took the boys to the beach and then the gym. As I was perusing the class schedule a man came up to me and asked if I'd like to take mixed martial arts over in the boxing ring. He was so earnest I said yes, figuring he probably needed students. I did a brief workout until the class started and then ran over to the ring.

There were about seven students there, all men. We crowded into the ring and started doing warm ups--the only one that was problematic with my now trick ankle was a sort of lunge where you roll your forward knee on to the ground and then sweep the other leg forward before standing. I had no problem with any of the pushups or squats. Then he paired us up. Lucky for me, there were two teenage boys, maybe 15 years old, roughly my size, though one looked like he weighed 30 pounds more than me and the other 20 pounds less. We started doing drills, and my young partner and I were going pretty easy on each other, barely making contact. Then he switched me to a tall man, which was hard since I had to aim up (and he down). I tried to hit harder, but thankfully he barely grazed me, especially on those uppercuts to the kidneys. After the drills, we all donned gloves and most of the men put on mouth guards. "Wait a second--are you guys training for ultimate fighting?" I joked. Nobody laughed.

Now our instructor had the two biggest men get in the middle of the ring and start to spar. The largest man was surprisingly agile, and after he bested the first guy he continued to take on opponents, in one case doing a rather spectacular leap and slamming the other guy down. It was basically kickboxing, to my uneducated eye. Yonas, the teacher, looked at me and said, "Do you want to try?" I was nervous, but shrugged and said "I dunno." Lucky for me, he took that as a yes. He sent me in the ring with the tall man. I wasn't sure what to do but I punched and jabbed and kicked. He was obviously not really fighting me, though he threw a few punches. But I figure he still got a workout prancing around and reacting to my floating butterfly maneuvers. Yonas switched in the biggest man, and he encouraged me to jab more. On my third partner, I started to feel the pain in my arms and Yonas called break. I was panting!

Next, the guys started to wrestle, starting from the ground. As the various partners switched in and out I thought I surely wasn't going to participate in this. I was wrong. Again, Yonas asked me if I wanted to try and took my shrug as a yes. He sent me in with the smaller teenager. It was a lot more natural than I had thought, even though I didn't know exactly what the goal was. I thought I did pretty well, and the guys were calling out tips like "spread your legs, now lock him with your heels," and so on. I'm not sure who won that round. Next I took on the bigger teenager, whom I couldn't pin because he was heavier than me. Still, there was no clear winner. When we were done I was more tired than I can remember. "You were holding back, weren't you?" I asked the kid. He said "sort of," and then one of the men said, "well, even if he wasn't, he's not going to say he was!" I got two more rounds in and on the last one I did have to slam the mat and ask for mercy as he was choking me (and I was tired). "There's a way to avoid that," Yonas said, indicating that you turn your neck so your trachea isn't compressed. He also showed me how to do a choke hold.

The thing I really appreciated about Yonas was his complete acceptance and encouragement of me. Some gyms can get hung up on their "testosterone clubs" and make women feel nervous around the free weights or other typically male areas (one way they do it is by swearing as loudly as possible; other tactics include spitting, belching, etc. That generally clears the women right out of the room.). I don't know if the guys in the class would like having a woman around for the long haul, but they were all tolerant and passably friendly.

I wonder how sore I'll be tomorrow. I felt fine during the class but when I went to pick up the baby my knees started shaking and when I got home they were hurting as if someone had punched me in the knees--it isn't the joint inside but the padding outside that hurts.

Lately they've been giving me the hard sell about signing up for personal training at the gym, and they buttered me up so good that I was almost ready to do it until I saw the price list and realized that for that much, I might as well go start taking those piano lessons with this wonderful expensive teacher I admire. Could ultimate fighting be the answer to my workout needs? Then I could reward myself with the piano lessons. 'Course, I might regret that decision if I mess up my teeth.

Who knows. I am famously fickle when it comes to sports.