Finally: The Perfect Musician for Me!

This was on Craig's List:

Old fart guitar god wanna-be, talentless, can’t play basic chords, fat, no chops or ability to learn, acne, sing off-key, butt ugly, crappy pawn shop equipment, unable to focus, lacking rhythm, no individual playing style, bad breath, can’t fingerpick, unpersonable, short-term memory loss, deformed left wrist and hand, no musical influences, homeless, can’t remember shit from 60’s to present, uncooperative, stage fright, tire easily, alcoholic and drug dependant, unreliable, hate to practice, play out of tune and/or key, unhappy, tone deaf, can’t read music or TAB, bipolar, play only in unknown tunings, immature and childish, can’t improvise, not energetic, incompatible skills, alternate between religious zealot and atheism, terrible image, outlook on life sucks, overbearing personality, not serious, can’t harmonize, no transportation, body odor……looking for other similar minded and bodied musicians for jamming in local apartment building carport between 12:00AM and 3:00AM on Tuesdays and Thursdays.