Say It Ain't So, Maksim!

I was going to try to find a cute pic of dance hottie Maksim Chmerkovskiy. I found his website, but I gotta say, uh, Maksim, do you play for the other team? Based on these ginormous glamour shots of you on your website, you are extremely in touch with your feminine side, which I applaud except that you took it slightly past the point of what I personally find attractive in a man (obviously, Fabio was a big influence). Boy, you are the prototypical, windswept, chest-waxing metrosexual male. Ladies, check it out for yourselves: http://maksimchmerkovskiy.com. Or just take it from me--he looks a lot better on the show.

Ugh, and don't go past the splash page--there's some horrible disco music with a vocoder-processed voice, and I really hope that's not Maksim singing. Because I really like you, Maksim, and I think we could dance so well together, despite the awkward height difference and my curious lack of flexibility. I hope this post is not another nail in the coffin that contains my showbiz career...