Moms in Business: The New Boom

After school today I took the boys to the bookstore for some browsing, even though I knew I'd get precious little browsing done. But I managed to grab a few books from the business shelf before being dragged to the children's section. I noticed an interesting publishing phenomenon: There is a plethora of new offerings about women and mothers in business, including (I'm not remembering the precise titles) Ladies Who Launch, Millionaire Moms, The Girls' Guide to Running Your Small Business and How to Make a Million Dollars From Your Kitchen Table While Putting Your Family and Kids First. Several are about how to be a boss without being called a bitch--always a nice skill if you can do it.

It made me realize that there are two sides to the whole "can't have it all syndrome" that affects women today. One group of mothers is bemoaning their mommy-tracked careers, realizing that their sacrifices have not resulted in a new generation of superkids who are miraculously free of problems and living life to their fullest potential. Judith Warner apparently wrote a book about this phenomenon (I read some excerpts), and these women sounded somewhat annoying, though I could relate to them. I mean, they are living in upper middle class luxury, ferrying their kids about in new SUVs, and yet they complain that they feel unfulfilled. Jeez, it's like the age of Victoria is upon us again. You are unfulfilled because taking care of children all day long is enough to drive most people nuts! You need adult companionship. You need to feed your mind. And with all the labor-saving appliances we have now, being a stay-at-home parent doesn't have to be a full-time job. I'm not saying it's easy, just that this myth of perfect motherhood in which you abandon all your own dreams while fabricating a Disney (or vegan!) cocoon for your offspring is just that: a myth. Indeed, that's what Warner's book is about, and I haven't read it, but perhaps she nails it.

That's what I found so interesting about all these books I saw on the shelf. Clearly, there is a demand from women who need money and mental stimulation, and who want to be entrepreneurs because the mommy track is simply unfulfilling at this point in history. And probably some percentage of these women have been mommy-tracked against their will; it's well documented that new fathers don't suffer from the perception that their focus is no longer fully on their career once they have kids.

Note that I'm not talking about caring for babies and toddlers. That is a full-time job. As I am doing (though I didn't with my first), I think it makes sense to dedicate most of your energy to it. As if you had a choice, ha ha! My PhD sister-in-law was complaining that a friend had had a baby and lost all interest in the outside world. "How old is the baby?" I asked. "Four months," she replied. I assured her that four months is nothing for a new mom. Give her six months to a year, at least, before you write her off as dead to the intellectual world.

But, if you have the money, get those kids socialized in day care, get to work (perhaps from the kitchen table, if the boardroom has booted you) and show them what passion and dedication are!