Who knows, this may be apocryphal. It's probably true--I've similar experiences where I was shocked by the writings of students from a prestigious local university (one that I didn't have the grades to get into!). I edited this piece down a bit.
What I Learned In Jazz Class
These are quotes from students in a college jazz
history class. They are extracted from the essay
topic, "What I learned over this semester in jazz
history." These are all genuine responses,
completely unaltered. They are all 18+ year old
students; not high school or middle school age kids.
None of them are music students; they all took this
class as a gen. ed. credit and a hopeful "easy A".
"Free Jazz is an era that I wished I had never learned
about.
"Free Jazz. Wow; what a sound it makes. An awful,
horrible sound. I don?t see how that can actually be
called a sound. My 5 year old nephew could pound on
the piano and make the same sound! He may even make a
better sound. To be honest, that sound is one big
mess.
"With swing, it's kind of up in the air for me. I must
say I tried like hell to keep up with it.
"My favorite jazz has a bluesy, Mexican feel to it.
"Though Jazz started in New Orleans, it traveled all
around the world picking up and dropping off things
along the way.
"One thing that confused me was Jelly Roll Morton. Did
he play with the Red Hot Chili Peppers? I didn?t think
that they were around back then.
"Jelly Roll (Morton) bridged the gap between piano and
ragtime.
"My grandpa likes it, but I think scat stinks.
"I wished Don Cherry would put his trumpet back in his
pocket.
"There is not enough space in my head to fit all that
I learned.
"This class taught me about a lot of things that I
never knew about.
"Some of the big jazz musicians we learned about were:
Louis Armstrong, Duke, Charlie Parker, Dizzy
Gillespie, T. Mark, Ken Barns, Buddy Baldwin,
Jellyroll Mortin, Sydney Bichai, Fats Waller,
Earl Hines, and many many more.
"Coming into class on the first day, I assumed there
would be a boring professor standing in front of the
class droning on and on about jazz. Here's where it
started; this is who played it; and here we are today;
blah, blah, blah. I now realize that my assumption
wasn't all that wrong.
"I assumed that jazz had started in the
African-American community only because it fulfilled a
multi-cultural course that I was required to take.
"Jim Crow, in a way, was the first jazz musician.
"Jazz was put into effect by Jim Crow's Law.
"I learned in this class that, contrary to my moms
opinion, Kenny G is a joke. A really non-funny one.
"I fell in love with that tune, Stablemates. It really
hits home.
"Jazz musicians dont play for women any more.
"I learned that going to jazz concerts gets me in good
with the girlfriend.
"I learned a lot about Be Bop, Swing, Drugs, and
Fusion.
"I found new respect for Miles Davis. He was adamant
about not using drugs when everyone else was trying to
get him to try some.
"I liked hearing the Original Dixieland (Jazz) Band,
and how they were the original Dixieland band.
"You might want to mention to future classes that jazz
brings true romance to a scene.
"I'm glad I took this class, because I feel more
comfortable to talk about jazz in its awesomeness.
"Drugs caused many artists their careers in many ways.
"Jazz is a style of music that is almost very sober.
"I figured jazz started in the 1960s, but to my
surprise, it started back in the late 18th century.
"Smooth jazz now just plain old angers me.
"A lot of the things that I learned were facts that I
never new about, not only in jazz, but in life as
well.
"I got really excited by the tenor sax, soprano sax,
baritone sax, but not so much the alto sax.
I hear the hard-bop jazz influence on bands today such
as Matchbox Twenty and Dave Matthews Band.
I'm now going to start this essay on jazz.
I learned the definition of supreme technical
virtuosity is to play like Louie Armstrong.
"Charlie Parker was a famous jazz musician who played
saxophonists.
TV has become more jazzy to me now.
Studying jazz has been a coming out party for me.
I loved the vibrational solos of Clifford Brown.
When I think of tradition and instruments, I think of
Fiddler of the Roof.
I learned a lot from the different guest speakers in
class, whether they were an experienced piano player,
a director of music at a major motel, or a guitar
player with an oddly placed hankercheif in
his pocket.
Jazz has the technique of classical music, the feeling
of blues, and the hope of children everywhere.
I know what troubles musicians now when I watch and
listen to them play.
My ties to jazz were through Bleeding Gums Murphy, a
character on a TV show called the Simpsons. It comes
on at 8pm on Sunday nights.
I was surprised to find out about the different styles
of jazz like hard, be, and post bops.
When I try to play jazz, I mess around with the
instruments pounding out random notes that were just
me making nonsense up and it sounding like a big pile
of crap.
Jazz is more profound when it doesn't help pay the
bills.
Hip hop and pop are fine, going out for fame and bling
bling. Jazz has been around for a while, is out of
style, but can really sing.
Jazz is a very dynamic kind of music. Loud and Soft.
Swing makes you want to get up and dance and free jazz
just makes you want to get up.
If any kind of music can calm a hectic day, its cool
jazz. If you feel like going out and dancing, however
there is ragtime.
In conclusion, jazz is music.
Jazz has come from the fields of New Orleans to my 2pm
class, and beyond.
Unlike other forms of music, jazz is listened to by
old people as well as us.
Steve Turre has taught me that sea shells should be
left on the ground instead of his mouth.
Over the course of the semester my knowledge of jazz
has gone from nothing to practically nothing.
Even though I probably won't listen to jazz after this
semester, it has given me a greater appreciation of
movies.
Jazz to me was the shops from groups in streets
downtown in the olden, golden days.
Jazz is not as popular with all of the adolescence
going around.
I like jazz more in books than on cds.
I remember coming into class with no facts but a whole
plate of bullshit to dish out
I found myself learning about Blues, Early Jazz,
Dixieland, Swing, Be Bop, Brazilian, Afro-Cuban, Cool
Jazz, Hard Bop, Free Jazz, Third Stream, Japanese,
Post Bop, Fusion, Smooth, Modern Jazz, and the list
goes on.
Call and Respond is where one musician plays and the
other one tries too hard to figure out what he's
doing.
The people in Dixie Land originated jazz music.
Jazz is now a part of me from 2pm-3:15pm every Tuesday
and Thursday.
Jazz started in the fields where they used
hand-me-down instruments and wore hand-me-down
clothes.
If Wynton Marsalis said jazz was dead in the 1970s,
what was he playing at the time?
Weather Report was the final big band back in the day.
My girlfriend and I both agreed the next morning that
jazz-club food was something we could've done without.
Jazz agitates me.
I like jazz, but I need something else besides rhythm,
melody, and harmony.
I had no clue that so many (musicians) used drugs.
Thinking about that, there is no doubt that they are
living the life I dream of. They are spending money on
things that they don't really need or even want.'
''I noticed that there weren't many jazz women in our
textbook until I looked to see that the author was a
guy. All guys are sexist, women bashers, who don?t
ever give us our credit.?''
'The part I most enjoyed was studying and appreciating
slavery.
Id like to see midgets getting bribed in every jazz
club. Not just with Birdland. I'm of course talking
about the jazz club, not Charlie Parker.
Weve had our share of good times and bad times over
the semester. By bad times, I mean my tests.
I could go on and on about jazz, but I won't.
I technically wasn't in your class but I was happy to
be along for the ride.
I was in jazz band in high school but we didn't play
jazz music.
Dizzie Gillespie was the one who jammed on the drums.
I thought doing our listening report would be a
painful sort of torture.
I was bummed out at the beginning of the semester
because I thought Louis Armstrong was going to be one
of the guest lecturers.