Alexa's New Year's Resolutions for Indie Musicians

This is the year we're going to make it BIG, baby! Armed with my knowledge of the recording and gigging industries, I offer these ten tips for surefire indie music success in 2008.

10. New you, edgy new hairstyle: the zebra-striped mullet.

9. Always look sharp in case you meet an up-and-coming podcaster.

8. Be all things to all bookers. Your "Michael Bolton Goes Latin" tribute band can get more gigs to the gallon by advertising "Bat Mitzvah Bashers ('tweens with 'tude)," "Logged Lincolns (satanic toddler screamo)," "Molten Smores (militant campfire rap)" and "We're Dripping with Dulcolax (Dion redux)."

7. Rigorously ensure legitimate polyethnophonic statements, non-harming acousticism and eco-temporal integrity in all your compositional endeavors.

6. When in doubt, go Goth. Especially when playing standards.

5. Prepare for marketing via reality TV by speed-eating raw horse testicles, raising pirate children or proclaiming your love for dim-witted bachelors.

4. Read my lips: No more half-diminished seventh chords.

3. Ditch the hipsters for an untapped audience: drifters.

2. Nurse every rejection until it festers -- then write a song about it. Play the song for a showbiz cynic or an abusive relative. Repeat.

1. Remember, you're a musician. Don't get all cocky and ask to be paid! (See #5 for more lucrative career opps.)

Bonus tip: Visit www.myspace.com/alexawebermorales for music, videos and more!

Thank you and Happy New Year!