If You Cross Me, Watch Out!

If you cross me, watch out!

I will bitch about it to my family endlessly, perhaps for a year or more, while you get shit done. Heck I might even complain bitterly about it to strangers or important business contacts who would have given me work if I hadn't come off as vengeful and unstable.

Yeah, and I might supersize myself. Mess with me and I could put on 20 pounds just to show you who's the victim here.

Watch out, because I'll be watching you. I will cyberstalk you and catalog your every move while my own web presence attracts old flies.

Stab me in the back and I'll never heal. I'll let myself go completely -- teeth, hair, nails, you name it. I'll be Cousin It, here in my hole, watching old sitcoms, wondering what you're doing right now. I know you'll be haunted by my total deterioration.

So don't you do me wrong. I won't forget it.